Superman!

Stanton Glantz is a truly amazing engineer who manages to teach at a medical school! He even won a Best Actor award. People with new money pour on the "bling" to vulgar excess because they’re insecure. And if you’re an engineer working in a medical school, you pour on the BS by padding your resumé to cover up the poverty of your qualifications.

That’s just what arch-antitobacco superman Stanton Glantz has done with his CV. By now, it’s clear to everyone that Glanz’s real employers are the people who fund his antitobacco crusade. Over at the medical school, he does a bit of teaching about computers and statistics and his resumé lists every "guest" lecture he’s ever done in someone else’s class.

And what a resumé it is. It’s so long that it seems he would have to be "faster than a speeding bullet and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound" in order to have accomplished this laundry list in one lifetime.

But let’s take a closer look. Why on earth mention that he was an Eagle Scout back in 1960, for crying out loud? And Best Actor in 1964. WHAT? That was the year Rex Harrison won … Stanton must mean Best Actor in a college musical. And the list goes on. We saw "several radio and television appearances" listed as separate line items no less than seven times before we stopped counting. In fact, the real beef in this CV consists of Stanton’s relentless anti-tobacco dog-and-pony shows — performed in Australia, on the Oprah show, and points in between. Isn’t that the real reason why he he has been placed in a medical school — to give the appearance of Medical Professor creds when he goes on his propaganda tours?

It must get to him sometimes. Like Citizen Kane, Stan has a "rosebud" in his past. Once — long before the Big Pharma money and the sell-out to pseudo-science, he was an Eagle Scout….